changes of which death entails
by TheGentleman9x0
Summary: Calypso knew that the Leo that came back to her wasn't the one that left. (Oneshot)


Calypso could tell Leo was different.

The shine in his eye was still there, but it didn't seem so natural anymore. It was almost as though he was forcing it, like he knew when she was looking deeply into his eyes, she was looking for something, some sort of indication, anything that would show her how he was actually feeling. And although he thought she couldn't sense it, she knew better.

It was in the way he stayed up late at night, laying in their bed, afraid to get up because he knew doing so would wake her. It was the way he wouldn't let go of her hand whenever they went out on the beach, or how he wouldn't work on Festus, unless she was there beside him.

She knew that the Leo that came back to her wasn't the Leo that left.

Maybe he'd seen too much, or maybe he hadn't seen enough. Sure Leo said that he could fix the dragon, and that they would be getting off this island anytime now, but how many days would pass before that actually happened? How many weeks? Months? Years? And what would he return to when they did get back? Would his friends be waiting there with open arms, or would he would have been long forgotten by that time? Would any of his friends still be there? Or would they have passed just as he should have?

Calypso didn't like to think about it much.

Unfortunately, all of those questions would remain unanswered until they finally made their return. That's what happens when you're on a magical island where time doesn't flow exactly like it should.

For the most part, Calypso is happy about this. Many of her heroes had stayed for years, only to return to a world that hadn't even noticed their departure.

But unfortunately, in punishments, all gifts are also a curse. Calypso knows that it is quite possible a few days on Ogygia may very well be a century or a millennium. She tells Leo none of this though, not when the only times his eyes lose their now ever apparent darkness is when he talks about returning to his friends.

Leo pretends being there with her makes him happy, but she sees how much he misses the others. He always says how much he loves her, but Calypso never quite understands how he could love the monster that took him away from the rest of the world.

She asked him about it, in desperation, once.

She had been crying because Leo had been so confident that Festus would run again that day, and she couldn't stand to see the look of utter disappointment on his face when it didn't. He chuckled, while holding her in her arms, making sure her sobs wouldn't escape his tight grasp, and jokingly said something about Stockholm Syndrome. Calypso didn't know what that was or what he meant, and she never bothered asking him about it, being too caught up in her own emotions at that point.

Despite this, Calypso can't bear the thought of losing him. She doesn't dare let the idea cross her mind, that he should've never come back to the island. No matter how much pain he goes through, whether it be from dying to save the world, and losing his friends, and having his only companion, the mechanical behemoth that brought him to the island, break down right in front of him, Calypso would never wish that it didn't happen. To her, whatever brought Leo back to her was a blessing in disguise, and she feels so horribly selfish for thinking that.

She understands that if you truly love someone, you should want them to be happy, no matter how it much it hurts you, but Calypso has already lost enough in her life, she doesn't need to lose him too. Even though Leo was different from the other, and mattered much more, and she was glad he was the one she would spend the rest of her days with instead of all the other would-be suitors that came to visit her over the years, he was the only one whose desires she wouldn't dare put above her own, not when it involved him leaving her. Leo told her about the saying "If you love something, you should let it go, and see if it returns to you," but in her eyes, she already let Leo go and he already came back to her once.

Even then, every night Leo spends laying in their bed, pretending to sleep when she knows he can't is another she hates herself for doing this to him. She knows that it's not really her fault, and it's obvious that Leo blames Gaia, and Gaia alone, but Calypso can't help but think she's the reason for his suffering. She knows that, as much as Leo loves her, he doesn't love her enough to leave his entire life for her, despite his constant claims that he would do just that. He says he'd rather be on the island with her than anywhere else with anyone else, but Calypso knows that's not the truth.

After all, how can her hell be his heaven?

She thinks about this sometimes. It's odd, she admits, that before Leo had come back, she couldn't wait to leave, to return to the world she had so long been absent from. Of course she'd still like to leave, but now it's much less of a fervent need and more of a persistent desire. She feels complete now, with him, and the pull her body had to find something, something that before she couldn't quite find the right word to describe, something that she knew was out there, somewhere in the vast world, just beyond her grasp, dissipated tremendously.

Calypso thinks she knows what it was, but she feels so very cliché saying it was Leo himself.

So she doesn't.

Calypso tries, harder than she'd like, she admits, to keep their relationship like it was before. She can't say that she doesn't miss the witty banter, and the constant bickering. Their hostility towards each other was what drew them together in the first place, so it was only logical to feel some kind of nostalgia when she couldn't find the heart to say anything too harsh about Leo. She's sure she just has to adapt to their new relationship, or maybe that their relationship has to adapt to their changing circumstances.

She knows he misses it too. He won't admit anything is wrong, no he's too proud for that, but just like he misses the rest of his old life, he misses their playful back-and-forth. Leo was being gentle, with her, and she was starting to feel delicate, and made of class. Calypso can't help but feel like something was holding him back.

She catches him sometimes.

It's hasn't happened often, but he looks out into the ocean with this deep longing, like his heart was pulling him towards something very far into the distance.

It hurt Calypso, to say the least, to have her heart pull her towards him while his was pulling him away.

It cemented another fear for her. She knows that Leo said there weren't any other girls waiting for him back where he came from, and had this been the Calypso that first met Leo, she wouldn't have been surprised. But knowing Leo now, she can't help but wonder if what Leo is saying is true, or if he is just too oblivious to see the what lies behind their eyes. Calypso is sure she's worrying for no reason, but that doesn't make her worry any less.

For some time now, she's been less than ecstatic about the prospect of leaving their "fortress of solitude" as Leo calls it, which he always chuckles at after saying. Something about how perfect it would be if Jason was here with them.

Even then, when Leo ran into her room, early one morning, saying that that they could finally leave, she took a moment to respond.

"Well, then, what are we waiting for?"

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><p><strong>AN: Somewhere along the way, I don't know what happened. I just couldn't find a place to end it. Also, sorry if it was OOC, I tried my best. In any case, I hope all of you enjoyed my first attempt at fanfiction. Thank you for reading, please review with comments andor criticism.**


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